actually, I'm a sock model
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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