It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
