his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
