we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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