Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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