4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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