That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
