Nicole vs. Life
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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