we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
