I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
