ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
