Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
