thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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