This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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