Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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