Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
