This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
