The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i came on her dog
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
