And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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