You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
