Don't you send me to vm
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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