Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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