I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
