the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
