Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
