I hate your face
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
