Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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