how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
