dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
