One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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