1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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