On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
