thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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