Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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