my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
