He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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