like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
They are going to name an STD after you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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