I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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