I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
