This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
