Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
