We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
