Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
