i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We named our party play list daddy issues
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize