I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
