It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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