$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He felt like a one man threesome
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
