I think my vagina is haunted
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
