these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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