"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
