I wish I could punch you in the face.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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