lets start a swedish sibling band together
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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