she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
