Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
