if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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