He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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