you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize