I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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