C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
