I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
