Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
