he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
