I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
