New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
